I assume when you say separated you mean that you no longer live with him.
1) If he moved the woman in before 10/1/2009, you can sue her for criminal conversation. If after 10/1/2009, you can't.
2) You should go ahead and file an action against him for a) equitable distribution; b) child custody (if applicable); c) child support (if applicable); d) spousal support (if applicable); e) divorce from bed and board (if applicable); and f) attorney fees.
You should seek advice from an attorney ASAP.
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