If the mother isn't complying with a court order, then you should advise her in writing of the language of the order and what you consider to be a violation. When the issue is a parent/child relationship, punitive measures such as seeking an order of contempt, etc. should be reserved for egregious cases only after all other possibilities for improving the situation have been exhausted. If the mother cannot comply with the Court's order without supervision, then the next step is to have her contact with the children supervised. Good luck!
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What does the custody order say? If the non-custodial parent is entitled to phone calls, generally the custodial parent can't dictate what's in those phone calls or who the child talks to (unless there is language in the custody order/divorce decree that says otherwise). If you have concerns about this, you can always motion the court for assistance regarding this issue, however your wishes do not equate to a court order in terms of starting a contempt matter.
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A party can't be found in Contempt for doing something the other party tells them not to do. A Contempt of Court finding only occurs if a party violates a specific order of the Court. Therefore, look closely at the wording of the Court's Order. If a party is found in Contempt they may be ordered to pay attorney fees for the prosecution of the action and possibly fined, or incarcerated as a penalty.
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