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What are the steps I need to take to move out of my abusive home?

Ontario, CA |

Hi. I'm 16 years old, and my parents don't want me to live with them anymore. myschool staff and faculty love and think I'm one of the most respectable kids on campus. Including the principle of discipline. I have a 3.3 grade average, never got in trouble with the law, I'm on wrestling team, the main sound designer of my schools theatre arts department, and I play the classical instruments. teachers think I'm a stellar student. my parents however do not. they are verbally abusive, they tell me they don't want me anymore, call me names, tell me im mot going anywhere in life, basically just neglect me.and they want to send me far away. many friends have offered a place for me in their home. do my parents need to sign something, or what? I'm pretty sure they'd be more than willing to.

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Best Answer

Congratulations to you for being the adult in your home. No child, capable in school or not, should have to endure abuse and rejection at home. There is still much growing up you must do, and you deserve to be able to do it with the support of your parents and others that love you. Your teachers are right about your bright future, so do concentrate your efforts there. Look around for other adults in your life that you trust: an aunt or uncle, pastor or spiritual advisor, or even school counselor. Tell the adult you trust what you have said here in this public forum, and ask for their assistance in improving your living arrangements. It may involved your state child protective services agency and even foster care. If you have an idea for someplace else to live, another adult willing to assume responsibility for you, and parents agreeable to the arrangement, the legal or paperwork part is not difficult or complicated.

Best wishes for a favorable outcome,and please remember to designate a best answer.

This answer is offered as a public service for general information only and may not be relied upon as legal advice.



Thank you- and to everyone who answered. a little praise and some helpful words were probably all that I needed.. All of your advices I will heed and do my best to keep my head up.


Very very very very tough situation to have to live in. Aside from the legal stuff, which I know nothing of, it's important that you know that parents are "just" people who have their own issues in life. While they are your parents and the only ones you have, you "know" who you are and you know your worth as a person in this world already. You do NOT have to have anyone's assurances to make you know who you are, it comes from inside. If you've been strong enough to have a good self image through all of these years, you can only get stronger going forward. Keep up the good work and be who you want to be. Words CAN be hurtful if you let them. Don't let them. Take these words and make yourself stronger still. It's your life and in the end you are the one responsible for living it. Whichever direction you go, (leaving or sticking it out a bit longer) be proud of your accomplishments, carry your head high and others too shall know your worth...


I concur with the comments of my colleagues. If you have been offered a place with a friend I would take them up on it. Try it out on a temporary basis. There is probably no need for paperwork if you will be staying in the same community and going to the same school.

My brother did exactly what you are contemplating, under slightly different circumstances, and it worked out good for him. He’s a successful business man and still best friends with his “adopted” family 35 years later. Set a time frame – perhaps until the end of the school year -- and then evaluate the situation from your point of view.

The teen years can be difficult for teenagers and parents alike. I am sure your parents love you and only want the best for you. But, because of their shortcomings, sometimes parents do not know how to nurture a child growing into adulthood.

This is not my practice area and I am not exactly local to you. But, if there is anyway I can help, I would welcome a telephone call or email.

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I am sorry to hear about your situation. What you are seeking is a guardianship. If you wish to stay with friends, and for their parents to have rights over you, then a guardianship would have to be filed. You may also file for the guardianship yourself, if you have someone who is agreeing to take you in. Good luck!