You should consult a family law attorney as soon as possible. You can petition the court to change your the names of your children which may be contested by the father. You can also apply for sole custody should that arise but keep in mind it is a good idea to keep the father involved in your children's lives unless there are extenuating circumstances. Best of luck.
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The answer to your question about visitation will depend on several factors. First, it will depend on whether paternity has been adjudicated or acknowledged for the father. If paterntity has been adjudicated/acknowleged, the next question is whether there is an existing custody/visitation order. If there is an existingn custody/visitation order, you must comply with terms of that order, or seek a modification of that order.
I would highly recommend that you speak with a family law attorney to address the many aspects that need to be considered.
As far as changing the children's names, you may petition the court to do so, but you must give notice of the petition to the father.
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