I am divorced, have two minor children: ages 7 and 3. My ex-husband exhibits concerning behaviors when the children are in his care: he goes to parties and bars with them, drinks there and then drives them to his place. No tickets from police, but my daughter reports him drinking a lot. I am afraid about the kids' safety. How should I approach it? He also apparently has a married woman come to his place while the kids are there and they would hug and kiss. Sometimes she comes with her husband, but no such behaviors occur when husband is present. Sometimes my ex takes the kids to her place, when she is by herself. I am concerned about the morale introduced to the children. How should I approach this? This is all on top of constant bad-mouthing and bashing me. Thank you for your help.
Hello. The multiple issues you described are well known to us well-experienced family law practitioners. Your children are very, very young. You describe that it may be a possibility that your former spouse is chemically dependent (alcoholic) or otherwise an abuser of his drug of choice, alcohol. What is the best path for you depends upon the full facts. The matter of drinking and driving with a 7 and 3 y old is markedly alarming. Also, imbibing alcohol with a young child and a tot. I urge you to pay to confer with a well-experienced attorney at this time and she can assist and advise you in great details once your describe the full facts.
Tricia Dwyer Esq.
MINNEAPOLIS/ST. PAUL - ST CLOUD. This law firm may accept avvo posters as clients but this post is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship. This post is to be considered general information which may or may not apply to your personal situation. Please do seek private attorney counsel as to your personal legal issues and needs.
Your best course of action contact a local attorney, either by email or phone, who will protect you and your rights.
The best way to do this is by clicking on the find a lawyer tab on AVVO. Then find one that will offer a free consultation. This benefits you in two way, first and foremost you need to find an attorney who fits well with you and secondly to make sure that they are skilled enough to take on your case. The best case scenario is that you get your questions answered and you get a powerful attorney to help you if you need one.
There are a couple of Motions I can think of. One is a Motion to Suspend Visitation if you feel that the children are being put in danger or having their emotional or psychological health damaged because of this actions.
The other is to just file a Motion to Modify Visitation and get a hearing where you can discuss all of these issues. Quite often a Guardian Ad Litem will be appointed and they can look into the allegations, and can speak to the children.
I would take SOME action to try to protect the children. Use AVVO to find someone close to you who handles family law.
I appreciate your concerns. However, some parenting issues cannot be resolved because parents differ on how children should be raised or on issues of personal morality. Generally, you cannot control whether the other parent has person of the opposites sex over or whether that person spends the night - married or unmarried. It is only likely to be an issue the courts may address if it has somehow significantly impacted the children to their detriment,. Certainly, drinking and driving with children in the car is an issue that can be raised and, even mediated. However, demonstrating that the conduct endangers the children may be much more difficult unless you were present at the time it occurred and observed the conduct or something untoward occurs. You must discuss the precise nature of your difficulties with an attorney to determine what may be the best course of action.
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