I really think that you need to meet with an attorney. Dissolving a long term marriage is not as easy as you would like to think. There are child support and custody issues even though your children are a bit older, and the insurance issue may not be possible under New York law. You don't say what your assets are, but you are entitled to a significant share of the marital assets, including any pension or retirement money. Also, you want to be able to enforce the "No Contact" rule. This is not the time in your life to represent yourself, or to save a few dollars for the sake of expediency.
Please note, I do not practice matrimonial law, nor do I practice in your geographic region. There is nothing for me to gain by telling you to hire an attorney. Rather, I'm advising you, as I would a friend who is in the same situation, and my advice is based on years of life experience.
I agree with the previous attorney. I practice matrimonial law downstate. I would recommend that you speak with an attorney immediately. Generally, your husband is only required to maintain health insurance for you under his plan until a judgment of divorce is entered. Recently, I am preparing Separation Agreement for many of my clients so that they can stay on their spouse's health insurance for a certain period of time. Some of my clients who enter into a separation agreement also agree to continue filing joint tax returns and splitting any tax refunds.
In both a separation agreement and a stipulation of settlement, the parties resolve all the underlying issues of a divorce action including marital assets, debts, spousal support, custody and visitation and child support. However, with a separation agreement, the parties agree that they shall remain separated for a period of time before filing for divorce.
You should speak to an attorney in your area regarding what option is better for the specific facts of your case.
The answer available is for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem. Use of and access to this answer does not create an attorney-client relationship between myself and the user. The opinions expressed at or through this site are the opinions of the individual author and may not reflect the opinions of the firm or any individual attorney.
The fact that you are thinking about giving up assets that may be equitably distributed to you in a proper divorce proceeding makes it all the more imperative that you speak with a lawyer immediately. Assets that your partnership built up during your marriage are "property of the partnership" and even if you now feel like it's too much to deal, you will be happy many years from now if you get an attorney who can properly represent you in this sort of case.
Other attorneys have pointed out that it may be difficult to remain on his insurance after your divorce, which is true. Understand though that you may be able to get your husband to agree to subsidize the costs of your health insurance going forward in a Settlement Agreement as part of the divorce proceeding.
Mr. Reimer is licensed to practice law in NJ and NY. His response here is not legal advice and does not create an attorney/ client relationship. The response is in the form of legal education and is intended to provide general information about the matter in question. Many times the questioner may leave out details which would make the reply unsuitable. Mr. Reimer strongly advises the questioner to confer with an attorney in their own state to acquire more information about this issue.
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