It is not really clear what the harassment would be or how he would destroy your future, but he is obviously doing whatever he can to keep you from going forward, including committing extortion. It is up to you whether to go forward or not. If you do, he is likely to lose his job regardless of whatever claims he makes. He has every reason to destroy the sex tape, not disclose it, since it proves your allegations.
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The decision to file a grievance would be one you could make, although it is not clear why you would file one, if this relationship was mutual. Although if it has affected your status at the school, it would make sense. The overall issue and question is what are you trying to accomplish?
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It depends on your state laws, but as an attorney who has handled dozens of cases ail
Milan to yours in Texas, I think the real focus in your situation is not on the mutual consesnual sexual relationship (although the power structure clearly gives the professor all of the power over you) but should be on the fact that he invaded your privacy rights by showing a private sex video to his friends. That is wrong and most likely is illegal in TN as well. You should consult with a personal injury water in TN who handles invasion of privacy cases. Good luck. This guy is a predator.
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