The laws of Oklahoma will control your husband's petition for adoption. You disclose that your daughter's birth father has had not contact with her for three years and has not supported her financially. If he did so voluntarily (he wasn't in jail), then he has essentially given up his parental relationship with her. If your husband has acted as the child's father, supporting her both emotionally and financially, he should be able to adopt her, even over her birth father's objection. Generally, a court will waive the consent of a birth parent who either has not developed or ended a relationship with a child. This acts like a termination. However, you need to talk to an adoption lawyer in Oklahoma. Go to the website for the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys to find an experienced attorney to work with.