Your question is tagged "Child Custody" , "Father Custody" and "Father Rights" but you discuss the martial estate in your question. Are you bringing that up to show that Plaintiff Mother is unstable and cannot provide an adequate home? Which could be potentially relevant to a child custody determination. Joint Custody is reserved for those parents that can get along and can agree as to the best interest of their children, if you cannot agree as to the best interest of the children then one party will be awarded custody and the other will most likely be awarded parenting time. The Judge will decide who has custody by making a determination as to the best interest of the child factors, and while I will/cannot get into all the factors here (theres 12 plus a catchall) providing for stability is one of them. What needs to be done, immediately, is to begin working on an objection to the recommendation of the referee, you have 21 days to file your objection. Begin as soon as possible and then you will have a de novo (new) hearing before your judge. There you can present the evidence that wasn't brought before the referee. Oh you cannot simply show a letter to a judge or a referee you need to have the writer there.
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