Depending on the specific nature of your assets, liabilities, and financial situation, bankruptcy may provide a solution to a number of your problems.
First, assuming your home is secured by a deed of trust (and it almost certainly is), you should not be liable for the deficiency if you let the home go into foreclosure. That may be a good option for you if you don't mind living in a rental property until your family relocates to CA in four years. But you should be very careful about timing, because the tax consequences of foreclosure depend on whether it occurs before or after you file for bankruptcy.
If you filed a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, you would most likely be able to eliminate most or all of your unsecured debt, which includes unpaid medical bills and credit card bills. Chapter 13 may offer you a means to keep your home in Washington, but whether or not that is a viable option will depend on a number of factors not discussed in your question.