Grounds for divorce in Virginia bring little or no change in the financial outcome of a divorce, with the exception of spousal support issues if there is adultery involved. However, it is a strategic all on whether or not to bring contentious issues into the divorce. I suggest you obtain legal advice. You may contact me at email@example.com or call me at 703-522-5629. I hope that helps.
Since Virginia law does not support forcible sex (not even between spouses), there is not actually a requirement that a spouse offer or participate in sex acts as part of the marital relationship. That being the case, I am dubious that the court would find the lack of sexual activity in your marriage to constitute a marital fault ground upon which a divorce can be granted. The only exception to this is in the case of an annulment action where one spouse is physically incapable of performing sexually and this condition was not known by the other spouse prior to the marriage.
On the basis of only the facts that you have described in your question, it is doubtful that you could establish a sufficient basis for a court in Virginia to award you a divorce based on the marital fault ground of abandonment or constructive desertion. On the other hand, the lack of physical intimacy could be cited as a negative non-monetary contribution to the marital relationship in determining support and equitable distribution of the marital estate. As to whether the attorneys fees and time spent pursuing a contested divorce case for the purpose of establishing this tidbit of information would be of a net financial benefit to you, it is extremely doubtful. IF this is the only marital fault issue that exists in your favor, then you are far more likely to spend $10k or more in attorneys fees pursuing a contested (i.e., marital fault grounds) divorce and end up with exactly the same spousal support and property award as you would in an uncontested divorce case.
That having been said, there are other family law attorneys who may disagree with the above assessment, particularly if there are facts in your situation that would support marital fault grounds such as constructive desertion. Family law is very fact based and it would be impossible to cover all of the various factual nuances that could effect the answer to your question. Accordingly, you really should schedule an in-depth consultation with a family law attorney in your local area as soon as possible. You may even want to schedule a consultation with at least 2 or 3 experienced family law attorneys in order to get a better consensus of opinion on the particular facts of your case and before deciding which attorney to hire to represent you.
There are numerous experienced family law attorneys in your area. If you need assistance finding one, you can contact the FBA (Fairfax Bar Assoc.) lawyer referral service at 703-46-3780 (http://www.fairfaxbar.org) and/or the VSB (Virginia State Bar) lawyer referral service at 800-552-7977 (http://www.vsb.org).
This response does not create an attorney-client relationship and is intended for general information purposes only.
Sign up to receive a 10-part series of useful information and legal advice about the divorce process.