In the Order to Show Cause itself which the judge signed, they usually direct you on when and how to serve your ex. Read it over. If they did not so direct, then you should call the Judge's law clerk or secretary to get direction. The safest thing to do if you don't know, is to arrange for personal service on him. That is always the best route. You will need to have him served and have whoever serves him (you can not, and it can't be anyone uner 18 years of age), will need to fill out a proper affidavit of service and have it notarized and then filed with the court. Be sure to at least get a consultation with a family law attorney as you dont' want to do this wrong and have to start all over.
The order to show cause directs at the end who is to be served, how they are to be served and by when they have to be served.
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This advice is not meant to create an attorney-client relationship and is a general anwer to the question posed.
You need to read the order to show cause cover page which was signed by the Judge. It should indicate the method of service and the latest date that the papers can be served
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