Ask your process server to attempt service at places other than her home. Ask the process server to wait outside of her work, outside of the gym, or where she gets her hair done. Find out as much as you can about your ex's daily schedule and try to have her served when she is not expecting it. I suggest hiring a different process server if these options have not already been presented to you.
It is unlikely that her just avoiding service will be enough to get the court to approve an alternate form of service. The right person will find a way to get her served. If the boyfriend lives with her, then he can be served in her place. You can also have the local police or sheriff do the service.
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