I'm not quite sure what your question is as your time line doesn't seem to indicate service issues. Without seeing the actual motions it is impossible to know what the basis for the Defendant moving to dismiss was and why it was granted.
You should know that employment discrimination cases are very difficult, the 4th circuit, where NC is located has a very conservative history with these types of cases making them hard to win for the most skilled attorney. Doing them pro-se is near impossible.
I recommend you see an attorney and do so quickly as appeal deadlines are very limited.
It also seems like you were trying to get the case kicked back to state court. Employment discrimination cases are under federal law, so Federal Court is the proper court to hear them.