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Brooklyn, NY |

My Ex husband and I are divorced , I have full legal and physical custody of my daughter . I am considering changing my job , but my work hours would jump from 40 hours a week to 60 + hours a week . My mother will help pick my daughter up from the daycare every day and will and stay with her until I get home . My Ex husband is dreaming of getting better visitation / custody arrangement which has been signed only 6 months ago . Per our Stipulation of Settlement , my Ex husband does not have the right of first refusal . I am afraid that my Ex , who works very little , will use my new work schedule to his advantage , saying that he ( his daughter's father ) and not her grandmother should spend the evenings with the child , when her mother is not available . Do I have a valid concern ?

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Attorney answers 3


Yes, you have a "valid" concern, but whether there is really any threat to your current situation is a question that can only be answered upon review of all your court papers and written agreements along with a detailed dialogue regarding the history of the case. If your ex is merely dreaming about more visitation, he may not do anything--if he makes noises as if he will, you should take the time to have a confidential consultation with a local attorney so you can be prepared. Good luck!

Ms. Brown may be reached at 718-878-6886 during regular business hours, or anytime by email at: All of Ms. Brown’s responses to questions posted on AVVO are intended as general information based upon the facts stated in the question, and are provided for educational purposes of the public, not any specific individual, and her response to the question above is not legal advice and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Ms. Brown is licensed to practice law in New York. If you would like to obtain specific legal advice about this issue, you must contact an attorney who is licensed to practice law in your state.


Time will tell if the concern is valid. If he files for custody, then you can deal with it at that time. It all depends on the facts.

If this answer is helpful, then please mark the helpful button. If this is the best answer, then please indicate it. Thanks. For further information you should see an attorney and discuss the matter completely. If you are in the New York City area, then you can reach me during normal business hours at 718 329 9500 or


Yes. Many judges are predisposed to give a parent the right of first refusal to care for their child prior to permitting the child to go to a third party childcare provider. Although the cusotdy arrangement is only six months old, your new work schedule may be deemed a change of circumstances that would warrant a modification of this issue. Once a court deems this a change of circumstances, the judge will perform a best interests analysis to determine if the child would benefit from giving your ex the right of first refusal.

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