To answer the exact question you asked, yes, a debtor has to attend the 341 meeting. The rest of your question doesn't make any sense to me. Start by asking a new question that details the "motions" you want to file.
A debtor's attendance at the 341 meeting is mandatory and can only be waived with a motion. You should have received notice of the meeting in the mail if your correct address was on the petition. Usually a debtor has to show the Trustee a social security card and driver's license before he/she will take any sort of testimony. Your hearing should have been passed to another docket date or the Trustee should have dismissed your case. You can contact the United States Trustee and contact the clerk of the court to see what you need to do as I'm sure the judge would be very interested if what you say is true.
The information provided in this post is not "legal advice." Rather it is general information on common legal issues. If you have questions concerning your specific situation, it is always best to consult an attorney in your area.
The 341 meeting is very significant. If you were represented by an attorney, why are you pro-se now? Your case seems to be much more complex than a few questions in a forum can answer. I suggest you hire an attorney.
You are required to personally attend and answer questions under oath. Not doing so can get your case dismissed. It does not sound as though the trustee did anything wrong. If your case is dismissed because you did not appear and testify, that will create major problems for you if you want to re-file another bankruptcy within 12 months. I strongly suggest you respond to any motions filed by the trustee and get qualified legal counsel without delay.
The foregoing answer is for informational and educational purposes, not for purposes of legal representation. This answer is based on New Jersey law and is necessarily general in nature.. Laws in other states may be different, and each situation is different, so this answer might not apply accurately to you. No attorney client relationship is to be implied from this answer. Always seek independent legal advice.