Skip to main content

Oregon domestic violence laws, how can a victim of domestic violence get the charges dropped

Seaside, OR |

My fiance and I got in a fight and he pulled my hair and was yelling at me. We have a two year old son who was asleep in the other room. Womens resource center told me that if I did not get a restraining order they would take my baby and against my better judgement I did. I tried to get it dropped and they kept losing paperwork, or giving me wrong paperwork I even attended the batterers class in order to have it dropped. I lost my job and my home due to being a motel manager and it happened on the property, I asked for time off and they fired me and said they didn't want to deal with my drama, I have moved 6 times. My fiance broke the restraining order to help me and our son get a place to stay, the womens resource center called it in and said that because I was trying to put my family back together and they consider him dangerous that he needed to be arrested. The police showed up at the place that he was setting up for me and arrested him in front of my son and then they took my son from me. I got him back 5 hours later, but was forced to leave the county. I am wanting to fix things and there are circumstances behind why he freaked out and pulled my hair. No one will listen to me and we are forced to be in two different residences and they have told him that he can not see our son or me for at least 11 months. The economy is bad and I was able to get a part time job, I was on welfare briefly but they kicked me off of it because I was eligible for unemployment. I can't get on Housing assistance due to the waiting list being over a year. I need to know what I can do to get this dropped and get him home with us. I am very sad and don't know what to do. Please help me.

+ Read More

Attorney answers 1


First of all, you can go back to the court if this is a domestic violence restraining order and get it withdrawn BUT I would have to second what Patty told you and advise you against doing that. You describe a classic early case of domestic violence. Men who resort to pulling hair, shoving and hitting women get bolder as time goes on. Oh sure, they express remorse and tell you how sorry they are, but this individual needs a thorough case of batterer's therapy and needs to be monitored. You are literally taking your life and well being and your child's well being down a dangerous path. I have visited many women in the hospital who wished they had done somethiung to stop the severe injuries they eventually received.

If this is a criminal restraining order then it is out of your hands. You can appeal to the DA if it is a criminal order, but most DAs today prosecute even if the victim recants. Good luck.