File a motion for mediation, ask the judge to appoint a mediator. It'd probably be a good idea to consult an attorney, as well.
You can file a Motion for Mediation and ask the Judge to Order mediation and determine how the mediation and any other fees are paid for. Given the issues you have incurred setting your case for mediation, you might consider filing some type of motion to excuse mediation and order the case be set for trial so that you can get to a final resolution.
I agree with my colleagues. File a Motion for Mediation and get a judge to order y'all to go to mediation. If the opposing counsel does not show, then he will be in violation of a court order. You should consult with a qualified Family Law attorney to represent you at the mediation.
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