My female friend is going through a hard and abusive divorce with domestic violence. He has been to jail twice for it. He also doesn’t show up at divorce hearing and got admitted to a hospital stating ‘mental illness’ as excuse for not attending court 3 times now. She also has an affair with another man but her kids have never been around him. However her husband knows and found some videos on her phone and showed it to the minor kids saying she doesn’t love them enough and goes out to see this man. Also is threatening to fight really bad for full custody. He never takes care of them and she’s the only one who takes care of all their needs and educational and recreational needs too. She buys groceries and clothing and fights for them. He never does and even quit his job to show to court he’s dependent on her. He never pays a dime toward the mortgage or any household expenses. Can he get their full custody?
If the facts are as you state them and are properly presented to the court, I don't think that he could get full custody. She may have a reasonable excuse to see another man due to the fact that he will not cooperate in the divorce and, accordingly, it has been prolonged. As long as the other man has no history of abusive behavior, and she has no history of abusive behavior, then she will probably be okay. Two things come to mind. First, she can go to court on her own and get a divorce. Since children are involved, there is a 90 day waiting period after the complaint is filed. She also needs to have a Permanent Parenting Plan and attend a live class on parenthood. Second, if she is very concerned about his position, she could move the court to appoint a guardian ad litem, who is an independent attorney who she would have to pay to do an independent investigation. If she does not have a local attorney, then she needs to consult with one, because she needs to be represented in court and have the appropriate paperwork drafted. As a final thought, in doing the Child Support Calculator and Permanent Parenting Plan, there is a statute that imputes a wage to him if he is willfully unemployed and the alleged mental illness issues are not the sole cause of unemployment. Also, if he is still living with her and she has concerns about abusive behavior or dishonesty, she can either go to the police department or the court and get an Order of Protection to get him out of the house. Since the divorce has already been filed, I would think that she would want to do it through the court.
If you have a divorce lawyer you need to consult with the lawyer. It would not be proper for anyone on here to give any advice. If you do not have a divorce lawyer you need to get one.
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