If you had him properly served, you can simply serve him by mail at the most recent address with an RJI and Request for Preliminary Conference. File both docs with the court and you'll get a conference with the judge.
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I would add that if he did not file & serve an Answer to your Complaint - and assuming you properly served him - you may simply move for a default judgment. I would suggest you schedule a free consultation with a NYC Divorce lawyer.
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You can file for preliminary conference if he was served. You may have an issue with the non military affidavit. Consult with an experienced divorce lawyer to assist you.
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You are actually not in a bad position because he was served. You should retain an attorney and you will then proceed with the action without him. You can forward to his grandmother's house because that is the address you have.
The problem here is service on an individual enlisted with the military. There are special rules which prevent you from entering a default judgment against a member of the military. There are some other options - please consult with an attorney.
Please note that this general response to your inquiry does not establish an attorney-client relationship.You should consult with a competent attorney for advice regarding your particular situation.
If he has already been served, then you can still proceed with your divorce. If he failed to answer, then you will be entitled to a default judgment of divorce. Otherwise, file a request for judicial intervention, requesting a preliminary conference, send copies to his last known address and to his commanding officer if you know who that is and move forward.
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