I found pictures online of my wife with another man, not sexually - but she is with him every time she visits Florida (about 4 times a year). We have been living in separate rooms for over 3 years with no physical contact. We do have 1 child (14 yo male) living with us - but I'm not trying to limit custody/visitation. Just trying to find out the fastest way to get a divorce without trying to hurt anyone.
Your easiest course of action would be to file for divorced based upon irreconcilable differences. The only statement that you need to make to the court in your divorce filing is that there have been problems in the marriage for at least six months prior to your filing for divorce and that the marriage is irretrievably broken down.
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You can have a conversation with him, about what you both feel that your plans should be in the future and try to work out an amicable divorce uncontested divorce with a Property Settlement Agreement that you both can agree upon.
If you are living in the same dwelling then you cannot file based on separation. However, you could file on the basis of having had no sex for at least 12 continuous months. Realistically, though, most divorce complaints in NJ are filed on the basis of Irreconcilable Differences, which is a No Fault ground. The advantages of this cause of action is that you are not stating that your spouse did or said any horrible things. It is the equivalent of saying "we don't get along anymore".
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Consider divorce mediation, sit down and work out the divorce settlement/
Please understand that I have no details about your specific case, my opinion is generally applicable and is far from personalized legal advice that lawyer would provide. If you are seeking legal advice you MUST consult with and only rely upon the advice of an attorney experienced in that field of law.
No. Physical separation means living in separate residences with no resumption of a common residence.
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There's no legal significance to living apart. It used to be relevant if you wanted to seek a divorce on the no-fault grounds of "18 months separation", but we have had irreconcilable difference" in New Jersey since 2006, so your continued residency together doesn't matter. If you're SURE there has been no game-playing and no asset hiding, your incomes are comparable and there's no argument over custody, support, etc., then I suggest talking to a mediator about the terms and then getting an uncontested divorce. Most of us will that, incorporating a mediated agreement into a judgment and "just getting it done" for less than $1000. In most counties, if you're represented by an attorney you can get everything done "on the papers" -- no court appearance required.
IF YOU LIKE THIS ANSWER AND APPRECIATE THE TIME IT TOOK TO WRITE IT, PLEASE SELECT IT AS "BEST ANSWER." Thanks. The above is said without seeing your case file and without my understanding the entirety of the facts of your case. Depending on those facts, the above information be may incomplete or may be completely inaccurate. The above is intended as general information only based on what you described and not as legal advice. I advise you to consult with counsel who may be able to provide better information commensurate with a better understanding of your situation.
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