Discuss your personal situation with an immigration attorney. To much drama for this site. The only legal question you present is whether your husband can adjust regardless of the action you choose to take. The answer is, "yes," but there are requirements he will need to meet.
You should speak with a divorce lawyer as well as an immigration lawyer. It makes no sense to stall divorce proceedings for the reasons you described, especially when there are ways by which he can self-petition to remove the conditions on his residence. You're upset, but as the expression goes, don't "cut off your nose to spite your face".
If you appreciate the time spent preparing this answer, kindly consider marking it BEST ANSWER or HELPFUL. Good luck to you.
Dean P. Murray
The Murray Law Firm
560 Sylvan Avenue
Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632
Mr. Murray's response is NOT legal advice and does NOT create an attorney-client relationship. You should NOT rely on this response. Mr. Murray's response was generated without conducting a full inquiry as would occur during a face to face attorney-client consultation. It is likely that the response above may be made less accurate, or become entirely inaccurate, as you, i.e. the questioner, disclose additional facts that should only be discussed during a private consultation with an attorney. I strongly recommend that you consult an attorney who is licensed to practice law in your state (or, in the case of immigration law, and attorney in ANY state), whereupon all relevant facts will be discussed. All responses posted by Mr. Murray on Avvo.com are intended as general information for the education of the public, and not for any specific individual.
You need to understand that you control only 2 things:
1. When to file for and proceed with and get divorce.
2. Whether to file a joint petition with your spouse to remove his or her conditional status.
So stay focused on how much you can control. Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy and make bad situation even worse. Do not listen to friends and relatives for sure. They only compound the stress. They don't know the law and their opinions have no real meaning. Talk to a lawyer in person.
Removal of conditional status requires joint filing (by both spouses). If you refuse to join him then your spouse can file petition on his/her own and might get it approved if the marriage was in good faith and fell apart for normal reasons. Law is too complicated to explain here.
Unless you have solid documentary proof that your spouse committed fraud, your spouse will get benefit of the doubt as far as immigration laws are concerned. In divorce, CA is no fault state and no showing of fraud is required unless you are asking for annulment of marriage based on fraud. Fraud is very difficult to prove and you will have the legal responsibility/burden to prove it. If you do pursue fraud in divorce case, you must have solid documentary proof. Otherwise a good judge on a bad day will issue fines and sanctions against you.
For many immigrants, fraud is natural-go-to-reason but not all marriages are entered into or fail because of green card and amount to fraud. Get counselling you must but be careful in staying too focused on screwing his or her life. Revengeful behavior is poison ...it affects everybody equally.
You must contact a local attorney or obtain telephonic consultation from an attorney to discuss specifics of your situation and get full advise. The information given here is general in nature and does not establish attorney-client relationship.