What I understand is:
1. Your son died without a Will.
2. At death, he was not married or a registered domestic partner.
3. He had no children.
4. Both of his parents survived him.
Therefore, his heirs are his father & mother in equal shares. RCW 11.04.015(2)
His father's claim, if based solely on his having lived with his son at the son;s death, lacks merit.
What you do to protect yourself is to file with the WA Superior Court a Petition for Letters of Administration, asking the Court to appoint you as the Personal Representative of your son's estate --- effectively, to collect his property, pay his debts, taxes, & expenses, and to distribute what's left in equal shares to your son's two heirs.
Please call or Email me if questions remain or if I could assist you further.
Richard Wills, WSBA 19720
The Washington Intestacy statute provides that if your son died with no children and no spouse or registered domestic partner, then both of his parents are the beneficiaries of his estate, equally. Each of you have the right to petition the court to be appointed as the administrator of the estate. If you are not named, you can request special notice and his father must account to you for actions taken.
Because of the potential conflict between you and your exhusband and given the fact that he is still living in your son's home, I would encourage you to hire an attorney and take action immediately to safeguard the estate property.
Best of luck to you. I am sorry for your loss.
Matthew M. Luedke
Attorney at Law