You are allowed to have a copy of any of the documents in which you are named as a beneficiary. Check out this link by cutting and pasting: http://www.californiaprobatelawyerblog.com/2010/06/can_i_get_a_copy_of_a_living_t.html
You may need to hire a lawyer to pursue your rights.
You are in a tough spot. If the trust is not irrevocable or your share vested at his death, you are not entitled to a copy. That said, it is likely irrevocable to some extent. First, I would check the records for the house and see if the property is in trust. That will confirm the existence of the trust, and possibly have the name of the attorney who drafted the trust listed on the deed. I would then have an attorney write her a letter telling her what her legal obligations are to provide Notice and/or a copy of the trust within 60 days of the death. If she continues to refuse, you may have to sue her.
In addition to the other comments, life insurance proceeds are frequently left to specified beneficiaries and not subject to the terms of the trust. If wife was the sole beneficiary of the life insurance policy, she is generally entitled to claim it.
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