My husband has power of attorney over health and finances, my MIL has a trust and long term care insurance. We went to the doctor with my MIL yesterday and she needs to go into assisted living , she can no longer feed herself and hurts herself if left alone. She doesn't like her caregivers anymore and is refusing to take her meds. The doctor says she needs 24 hour care by a medical staff now. My brother in law who has very little contact with his mother
thinks she is fine at home.He will not speak with the doctor. He said doctors are wrong all the time. We've been watching over my MIL for 4 years and have held out as long as we can before putting her in assisted living. My BIL is a co-trustee. Can he stop us from giving her the care she needs?
He can try to do anything but your due regard for your MIL and your loving and caring approach will be controlling here. However, he may end up costing the family litigation fees. So your best approach is to give him more information, remind him that you have the final say under the living will/POA arrangement. If he insists on bringing a frivolous lawsuit, let him know that you will sue him for attorney fees and costs. ( I am not sure whether IL allows for this recovery, so before so stating and in any event you should speak with IL estate counsel.)
Hope this helps.
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It is impossible to say whether he "can" block you without knowing more facts, but he certainly can try. The fact that he is not in this area, however, will make it inconvenient for him, and you have the authority to per the POA to make those decisions. As long as you make decisions that are supported by your MIL's doctors and other care professionals, and as long as you act in good faith for her best interests, keep an accounting of all you do, and get good advice, you should feel confident to make those decisions. I do agree with the previous answer that being open and providing information should help. It may not change his mind, but showing you have nothing to hide should and are willing to share all information may prevent an attempt to block you. There are many other options and avenues to explore that may make sense for you. What you need to do is sit down with an attorney and explore all of those avenues and chose a course that makes the most sense for your MIL, to minimize the exposure to a challenge and to fulfill your fiduciary obligations.
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