You can certainly change your name, but to be honest it sounds like you have quite a few issues that need to be worked out and may want to consider whether your husband would be willing to attend marital counseling with you.
In most states a married women can have any name she likes. A Court should have no trouble changing you name as long it is not for fraudulent purposes I don't think a name change will fix your family problem.
See a local domestic lawyer.
A name change is a legal process available to all persons over the age of 18. In adoption cases children are afforded this opportunity as well. A name change alone does not create or sever a relationship. You were well within your rights to have never changed your name at all if you so chose and thus may restore your maiden name without dissolving the marriage. A marriage can only be done in a Court of Law which would be a separate proceeding all together.
I appreciate that this is a very diificult time, but perhaps a name change is not enough to make you whole. If your husband won't stand up with you and for you against people that are hurting you. A name change may not yield the desired outcome ( A supportive husband and a torment free marriage).
I hope that I have been of some help. Please take care