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My husband who has hit me and my mother in the past(arrested both times) wants shared custody. Is it possible?

Walpole, MA |

I didnt press charges against him, I took him back and tried to work things out. I cheated on him while he was out. He has had 2 arrests on him, one when he hit me and one when he hit my mother. He recently found out and now wants to divorce, we have a 2 year old baby whom he wants to have shared custody of. I don't want to share custody with him. what can I do?

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Attorney answers 4


You should consult a family law attorney as soon as possible to assist you if and when he files for divorce or regardless to protect your interests and those of your baby. If you are in immediate danger you should call the police and you may be able to obtain a restraining order or abuse prevention order or the like. Whatever you did or did not do is not an excuse for your husband to hit you and you are entitled to be protected from that abuse. You may also want to contact the department of children and families, formerly social services, for help. As for custody, that will be a determination made by the court if and when your husband files for divorce and many factors, including his prior arrests, will be taken into consideration. I highly recommend consulting a family law attorney to assist you with this unfortunate and difficult situation. Best of luck.

Please be sure to mark if you find the answer "helpful" or a "best" answer. (It lets us know how we are doing.) Attorney Kremer is licensed to practice in Massachusetts. Please visit her Avvo profile for contact information. In accordance with Avvo guidelines, the following disclaimer applies to all responses given in this forum: The above is NOT legal advice, and is NOT intended to be legal advice. No Attorney-Client relationship is created through the above answer.


You do not need to share custody with him if you don't want to. It is important to note that there are 2 types of custody: legal and physical. You would get sole physical custody. Good luck.

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First, please make sure you and your family are safe. Second, you should consult a family law attorney as soon as possible. It is not clear whether he is seeking joint legal custody-which relates to joint decision making for your child regarding health, education & religious matters, or if he is seeking joint physical custody-which relates to how much parenting time you each have with your child. If there has been domestic violence, particularly in the presence of your child, that is a factor the Court must consider when determining custody. An experienced family law attorney will be able to assist you. I would not wait for him to file, but would start the divorce action and seek temporary orders that will protect your and your child's best interests. Best of luck to you.

This answer is for general informational purposes only and does not create an attorney-client relationship.


I suggest contacting a family law attorney immediately to discuss you roptions. Through the divorce process it will be determined whether the two of you will share physical custody or one of you will get sole physical custody. If he will not agree to give you sole physical custody, you will need to present your case to a judge who will determine what is best for the child. You must show the judge why it is in the child's best interest to reside with you full time. If you have concerns that he is or will become abusive towards the child, it will be important to explain that to the judge.

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