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My husband told me he's been "advised" not to speak to me? What is he doing?

Fillmore, CA |

We are separating things were friendly?

I did not even know he hired a lawyer. He won't tell me if he did or not. He won't tell me anything. He even did the key over his mouth motion saying "this is me....not speaking to you "

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Attorney answers 6

Posted

Perhaps his lawyer was concerned that your husband may reveal confidential attorney-client communications to you. You should tell your husband that cutting off communications between the two of you will prevent you and your husband from resolving issues in your divorce case, likely increasing the cost of the divorce, to your husband's attorney's economic benefit. Keep things peaceful and friendly between you and your husband, and do what you can to try to work out a fair resolution with him. Since your husband is represented by counsel, you should also be represented by counsel, who can advise and steer you appropriately.

Please note that this answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied on, as each situation is fact specific, and it is not possible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and court pleadings filed in the case. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship.

Asker

Posted

I did not even know he hired one? Does he have to inform he did and tell me who it is?

Reid A Seino

Reid A Seino

Posted

No, he does not need to inform you that he hired an attorney nor reveal who it is. If anything, you will get that information when you receive the divorce papers.

Asker

Posted

Doesn't this indicate he is going to be doing something nasty? If he does not even mention to me that anything is coming? I mean I informed him of every step I was taking and why ahead of time.

Reid A Seino

Reid A Seino

Posted

That is your problem, you are too charitable and nice. Why do you want to telegraph every single step and move that you are going to make, way in advance, to allow him to prepare? It's like when you were young, you played a game of chance against a friend. Would you want to tell your friend what you are going to do and give them time to prepare? No. You want to play to win and it's the same here. He may not be doing anything nasty but he may also be playing a game to see how riled up you are getting (which is succeeding wonderfully, apparently.) You need to take stock of yourself and view this as protecting your self-interests which do not coincide with his. Stop telling him what you are going to do and just do it. Nice or not, nasty or civil, it does not matter because you are going to have to live with the outcome of whatever happens. Do you want to put yourself at a disadvantage or try to get what you can?

Asker

Posted

"Get what I can"........I'd rather we both keep our own money instead of having to give it to someone like you.

Reid A Seino

Reid A Seino

Posted

Well, unfortunately, you may end up giving quite a sum to an attorney who does not spend his Saturday and sunday trying to provide you with a free legal opinion, more so if you continue to deny the reality staring you right in the face. I wish you best of luck.

Posted

He may be repeating what he was told.

It may also be he is simply trying to intimidate you.

Inform your attorney of this latest gambit and follow his/her advice regarding the "silent treatment."

The foregoing is for general information purposes and does not establish an attorney-client relationship.

Asker

Posted

I don't have one. I called and left several messages but so far I have not gotten a call back. I called one on Thursday and the other on Friday so maybe Monday someone will call back?

Asker

Posted

He HAS succeeded in intimidating me. I have been anxiety ridden since he has said this to me and I have not been able to find an attorney.

Posted

Does he suffer mental illness? Why would a friendly divorce go like that?

NOTE: (1) I may be guessing and/or not even licensed in your state; (2) We have not established an attorney-client relationship; (3) Sometimes you get what you pay for; and (4) If you want to send me a gift, my favorite color is orange.

Posted

Is obvious he has retained an attorney to advise him on protecting his sole interest -- so conclude it is no longer friendly (what divorce ever is) and you should do the same.

My answer is not intended to be giving legal advice and this topic can be a complex area where the advice of a licensed attorney in your State should be obtained. Please click "helpful" or "best answer" if my answer added any value or add a "comment" if you have more info for me to help you get a better answer.

Posted

I think you can assume to a good deal of certainty that he has hired an attorney.

Posted

When it becomes clear to me that my client has a big mouth, and the other party is smarter or better at chiseling information out of my client or better at manipulating my client, I then instruct my client not to talk with the other spouse. Otherwise, I advise my clients that it can be good for them to talk with their spouses in an attempt to resolve issues and thus reduce my time on the case, and thus reduce the overall attorney's fees. Most of my clients like the theory of what I just explained, but in actual practice cannot do it, because most litigants who come to attorneys in a divorce do so because the emotions are way too caustic and they just can't talk anything through. That is why they went to the trouble of hiring an expensive attorney in the first place.

Office: (410) 381-1656. This is NOT legal advice, is GENERAL INFORMATION ONLY, and does NOT establish an Attorney/Client Relationship with you because you have not yet retained me, and because you have not provided me with a COMPLETE set of all the FACTS in your legal situation. Therefore my answer cannot address your specific legal situation and you should not rely upon my answer in your legal matter. This answer is provided as GENERAL INFORMATION ONLY, and to assist you in beginning your own research or in finding an attorney to represent you. I am an attorney licensed in Maryland and California. If you want me to provide legal advice, then you must call for a Consultation. If you would like me to represent you, then a Retainer and a fully signed and dated Legal Services Agreement (a contract) will be required. Office: (410) 381-1656. David Mahood, Esq.

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