You can file for divorce under irretrievable breakdown. All you have to allege is that there has been a breakdown in your marriage for a period of 6 months. He will not have to consent to giving you the divorce.
You are entitled to a divorce in NY if you want one. He cannot prevent you from filing or from obtaining the divorce. You will file under NY's No Fault grounds for divorce. If you husband is in the military, you may have some issues with serving him and proceeding, depending on where he is stationed. But, that will not prevent you from obtaining a divorce.
The obvious answer to your question is to file for divorce. If both of you have adequate resources, then maintenance (i.e., alimony) will not be an issue. Nevertheless, there MAY be an issue of jurisdiction if he's active duty & stationed in another state or country. You are thus best advised to schedule a consultation with a Bronx Co. Divorce Attorney.
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