Hire a lawyer. He or she will explain to you that it is part of the normal process.
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3 months isn't very long. I believe that these are currently taking around 8 months: https://egov.uscis.gov/cris/processTimesDisplayInit.do
Yes, if he was in the US w/o proper documents for more than 6 months, he'll need a waiver.
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3 months is not a long time for a family based petition. If you have so many concerns, especially regarding the requirement of a waiver, you should retain an attorney.
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The paperwork was sent to the national benefits center because that is where the application will be decided. The process takes about 6 months. No he cannot apply for a work visa. Because he was here illegally before he cannot come and wait here while the applications are pending and yes he will need a 601 waiver. Hire a lawyer to help.
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You have a lot of questions. Please consult with an attorney. Whether your husband qualifies for an I-601 depends on whether he has multiple illegal entries or one illegal entry and unlawful presence longer than one year. He does not have any chance to have a nonimmigrant visa such as a work visa. It can take up to 6 months for an I-130 to be approved. I hope this helps. My office number is 704-568-9228, if you would like a free consultation.