You are not giving me e nough information. I would call the VA, Legal Aid of Sonoma County or the applicable county in Washington. The only dangerous "option" is the non-option of doing nothing. Before there are support arrearages, you should probably go to the Wasington family court for relief. None of my suggestions are mutually exclusive. Just do something and see a lawyer. Good luck.
This does not establish any attorney-client relationship, but is an answer to a posted hypothetical question.
This is intended to be general guidance and not necessarily state specific advice. There are some concepts that are the same or similar in most jurisdictions but not all. Use the AVVO.com web site to find an attorney in your area for state specific advice. In addition to that, contact your local bar association for referral to an attorney who specializes in this or talk to friends and neighbors to ask about an attorney they have used and liked. Often, but not always, the attorney will do an initial consultation free of charge. You will then be in a better position to determine what to do next. Best of luck to you!
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Eliz. C. A. Johnson
Post Office Box 8
Danville, California 94526-0008
Legal disclaimer: I do not practice law in any state but California. As such, any responses to posted inquiries, such as the one above, are limited to a general understanding of law in California and not to any other jurisdiction. In addition, no response to any posted inquiry should be deemed to constitute legal advice, nor to constitute the existence of an attorney/client or other contractual or fiduciary relationship, inasmuch as legal advice can only be provided in circumstances in which the attorney is able to ask questions of the person seeking legal advice and to thus gather appropriate information.