If he has dementia he does not have the capacity to participate in the divorce. You need to speak to an attorney about how to handle this.
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Your state most likely has a statue that provides how you can obtain a divorce from someone without the mental capability of being involved. I would strongly encourage you to retain an attorney in your jurisdiction to assist you. Good luck.
Tami L. Augen Rhodes
This answer is for general informational purposes only and should not be relied upon for your particular case nor is it intended as legal advice. I have not reviewed your case nor have I met with you and the answer to this question does not in any manner whatsoever establish an attorney/client relationship.
When there is a concern about the mental capacity of one of the parties, the Court will appoint a Guardian Ad Litem to represent them. This will be at YOUR expense. This attorney will be there to protect your husband's interests. You definitely need an attorney to help you through this process.
You can file for divorce based on having lived separate and apart for over a year. The court will likely appoint a guardian ad litem to assist your husband since he is incapacitated.
This answer is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute an attorney-client relationship. To receive advice tailored to your unique circumstances, you should meet with an experienced attorney.