You should hire an attorney to protect your rights as soon as possible. your husband should financially support your children and perhaps you could argue to receive more than half the value of your house in exchange for monies for your children.
If you want to finalize your divorce, then you need to begin the process and have him personally served with the paperwork. If he does not respond, then you can get a default judgment. It sounds like you've been the sole provider, so you want to make sure he does not seek spousal support (alimony) from you! And if he has never contributed to the support of your children, then although you are entitled to child support, it may not be worth it to pursue this--up to you. The big ticket item is the house (assuming it has equity in it), and you should ask the court to confirm the house to you. You also have a pension that is likely community property, and if you don't want him to have any portion of it (or the house), then you would be well served to hire an experienced family law attorney to assist you. You have some exposure here--and retaining counsel will be well worth the money spent to do so.
I am including links below which will explain some of the common issues that arise in divorce proceedings. Good luck to you.
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