I don't want it to look like I'm leaving him. I can't live here anymore if he doesn't love me and want to be married. But he won't come out and say he wants a divorce either, he just keeps saying he doesn't know yet. I gave him a week to think about it and now when I ask questions he just ignores me.
This is a difficult situation for you, but you do have a few options. First, you should encourage him to attend a marriage counseling session. If he agreed to attend, it is possible he may explain what’s going on to make him question whether he wants to be married.
If counseling doesn’t work, you could try separating for a short time and see if that helps clear things up. Of course, this will be more expensive due to the different living arraignments (rent, utilities, insurance, etc.) You would have to agree upon how common expenses would be divided, etc. If there are children, this option, while still available, is a little more different due to child visitation and support. If the two of you remained separated for more than 18 months, either of you could seek a divorce on those grounds.
If he doesn’t want to be married and you don’t want to continue living like that, encourage him to file for divorce. That way you are not leaving him. He could hire an attorney and the two of you could amicably agree upon a divorce decree. That way it would be an uncontested divorce, which is much quicker and far less complicated.
If the two of you have minor children together, be sure to take into consideration your court’s standard order regarding visitation and related matters. Also be sure to review Administrative Order No. 10 from the Supreme Court regarding child support obligations. Because these matters are not necessarily straight forward, it would be very helpful for you to hire a family law attorney in your area for further advice.
First step would be to try marriage counseling to see if that resolves the issues.
As the other attorneys have suggested; try counseling. It does sound like you would benefit from professional help but I also strongly encourage you to seek marriage counseling before legal counseling. It may be hard and even hurtful but not nearly as hard and hurtful as a divorce. If it doesn't work you can always find a lawyer who will help with the divorce. Very best of luck to you.
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