I am so sorry that he is putting you through this. You may file a divorce by publication if you do not know where he is exactly and if he is not responding to you, that at least gets you divorced, then you need to work on getting a child support order and having it enforced. Take care and hope that things work out.
Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of Massachusetts. Responses are based solely on Massachusetts law unless stated otherwise.
What your first-responder says is true, but incomplete. If you know where your husband is in Mexico, you need to have copies of the Complant and Summons handed to him, and file a sworn return of service. You will need an order from your divorce court permitting service outside of Idaho. If you do not know exactly where he is, you you can petition the divorce court for an order permitting publication of the summons in the city where you last knew him to live. Ideally that city is in this country.
These service issues will make your divorce difficult to complete without capable legal assistance. In order to avoid wasting money on a publication fee, make sure your attorney uses the special shorter publication summons if publication is authorized. Service of process is an important due-process right under our Constitution, so your divorce will not go forward without proper service.
Best wishes for a favorable outcome, and please remember to designate a best answer.
This answer is offered as a public service for general information only and may not be relied upon as legal advice.