In an emergency, dial 911. Speak to a local attorney about filing or go down to the local courthouse and ask the clerk.
Don't stay silent, speak out! National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) / www.thehotline.com
The Cycle of Domestic Violence
In 1979, psychologist Lenore Walker found that many violent relationships follow a common pattern or cycle. The entire cycle may happen in one day or it may take weeks or months. It is different for every relationship and not all relationships follow the cycle—many report a constant stage of siege with little relief.
This cycle has three parts:
Tension building phase—Tension builds over common domestic issues like money, children or jobs. Verbal abuse begins. The victim tries to control the situation by pleasing the abuser, giving in or avoiding the abuse. None of these will stop the violence. Eventually, the tension reaches a boiling point and physical abuse begins.
Acute battering episode—When the tension peaks, the physical violence begins. It is usually triggered by the presence of an external event or by the abuser’s emotional state—but not by the victim’s behavior. This means the start of the battering episode is unpredictable and beyond the victim’s control. However, some experts believe that in some cases victims may unconsciously provoke the abuse so they can release the tension, and move on to the honeymoon phase.
The honeymoon phase—First, the abuser is ashamed of his behavior. He expresses remorse, tries to minimize the abuse and might even blame it on the partner. He may then exhibit loving, kind behavior followed by apologies, generosity and helpfulness. He will genuinely attempt to convince the partner that the abuse will not happen again. This loving and contrite behavior strengthens the bond between the partners and will probably convince the victim, once again, that leaving the relationship is not necessary.
This cycle continues over and over, and may help explain why victims stay in abusive relationships. The abuse may be terrible, but the promises and generosity of the honeymoon phase give the victim the false belief that everything will be all right.
James Regan, LL.M*, Esq. (Master of Intercultural Human Rights Law)
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If he is threatening you, then you may go to the police. If he is just spreading lies and you are suffering a recognized damage, you may have a slander suit. Contact a civil attorney.
Responding to questions on AVVO does not establish an attorney-client relationship between the questioner and any attorney associated with Garrett Law Group, PLC. Responses should be considered and used for informational purposes only. Every case is unique in its facts, and all legal matters should be discussed with a licensed attorney prior to making any decisions or taking any actions.
RC 3113.31 is the mechanism by which you could file for a Civil Protection Order on the basis of Domestic Violence. I urge you to: (1) call 911 if you there is an imminent threat and (2) contact an experienced attorney, particularly if you feel that your ex has placed you, by the threat of force, in fear of imminent serious physical harm.
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