If he goes into court on unpaid child support, and starts complaining he might find himself incarcerated.
Take out a restraining order on him; your adult children can do the same. Ignore him, it is time that he
faced the music and believe me, he has little chance of winning any modification award. What might happen is that a lawyer (if he gets a sensible one) might try to negotiate a settlement, which you have to approve. As to his fee shifting request to have you pay his legal fees, that is only done when a person has to go to court to get someone to obey an order, it is never done when someone is asking for permission to disobey an order. He also might find himself unable to hire counsel, because honest attorneys see right away what a losing proposition this is. Of course, there is always some legal eagle who will take his money, go into court and still hit a brick wall.
You might find my legal guide on selecting and hiring a lawyer helpful.
You might find my legal guide on Is it Legal? Is it Illegal? helpful.
You might find my legal guide on the understanding the different court systems helpful.
You might find my legal guide on legal terms used in litigation helpful.
(Even if you are not filing a lawsuit this information can be useful).
You might find Gabriel Cheong’s legal guide on the do and don’t of finances after a divorce helpful.
You might find my legal guide on divorce in general and in NJ helpful.
(Much of this information is valid for unmarrieds who have children together).
Mr. Sarno is licensed to practice law in NJ and NY. His response here is not legal advice and does not create an attorney/ client relationship. The response is in the form of legal education and is intended to provide general information about the matter in question. Many times the questioner may leave out details which would make the reply unsuitable. Mr. Sarno strongly advises the questioner to confer with a local attorney about this issue.