Skip to main content

My ex boyfriend of 6 years financially, emotionally abused and manipulated me. Do I have a chance of winning a judgment? ~150K

Santa Clara, CA |

When I met my ex he had some minor health issues. Shortly they became serious due to obesity. Each month there was an excuse on why he could not pay. I was force to pay household expenses 90% of the time. He manipulated me in to believing that we were a "family unit". My bank found him guilty of fraudulent usage of my ATM. He even made my rental into a hoarder’s den. He made me put on his socks, shoes, underwear and sweats daily. There was a clear pattern of abuse, manipulation and bullying. He financed a dump truck for his business, he asked if i would be willing to officially pay for all expenses for 2.5 years in exchange he would do the same and i could buy a new car. He made my house into a hoarders den forcing me to live in the garage for almost 3 years. He owes me ~$150K.

+ Read More

Attorney answers 4

Best Answer

It sounds as if you had an agreement with him and he has breached the agreement. He agreed to support you for 2 and one half years and now refuses to do it and based upon his representations he paid significant funds for your support you can look into fraudulent inducement, recision of contract, breach of contract. The Federal, case touching on many of these issues in California is the Marvin case. If he stole money by and through your AMT hopefully you filed a police report and he was charged and convicted. This would be evidence of his state of mind. You did not mention in your statement, but it is going to be very important as to what witnesses you have to substantiate your allegations.

This participating Attorney does not warrant any information provided, nor are we creating an Attorney-Client relationship by providing said information to you on this site. Nothing contained herein is intended to constitute, offer, induce, promise, or contract of any kind. The content provided is presented as a courtesy to be used only for informational purposes and is not represented to be error free. The Law Offices of John N. Kitta makes no representations or warranties of any kind with respect to its answer to inquiries, and such representations and warranties are being expressly disclaimed. Given limited facts, we are attempting to share relevant information concerning this area of the law as a public service.



Thank you, Mr. Kitta for all this information. My PTSD in part has prevented me from returning to this website after I posted my question. Can you please either post or private message me with additional details regarding the Federal Marvin case? I would like to review this case. Regarding a police report, the Santa Clara PD has refused to provide a DV police report. They were hustled by my ex each time he called the police on me. Ha!!! I am not equipped to communicate effectively with the police due to my PTSD issues. For insurance purposes ONLY, the reluctantly provided an "incident" number. I was told that if I attempted to obtain a report again, I would be arrested. I have never been in any trouble with police in my life. Sadly, this experience with the police has forever diminished my view of police. I have witnesses within my immediate family, coworkers, and his parents. I appreciate your help immensely. It has been difficult to wrap my head around the solution to this issue as there has been significant roadblocks since moving out of my old house. The number one issue is that I have been homeless and unemployed since July.

John Noah Kitta

John Noah Kitta


The first thing I want to correct is that the Marvin case is a California case, not a Federal Court case. Apparently, there was a typo. You might remember the actor, Lee Marvin. Your factual situation is most complex and your having disability issues which are interfering with your personal participation. There is no easy road. A lawsuit would have to be filed and appropriate Motions would have to be made to force the police to provide you with all relevant documents, reports, etc. There are many experienced attorneys that do take a case on a contingent fee where they get paid if you win and they get a percentage of the recovery. Without the assistance of effective legal counsel, things are probably not going to go very well for you. I suggest you move quickly. The passage of time never helps the Plaintiff and can only hurt and you also may develop or have statute of limitation problems.


I am so sorry that you have gone through this. Your state is a community property state, please sit down with a local Santa Clara attorney and discuss your rights, you will be protected. Take care.

Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of Massachusetts. Responses are based solely on Massachusetts law unless stated otherwise.


Agreed. You might also want to look into legal support from legal aid or battered women's centers in your area. There are people who devote their lives to help people in your situation.

Good luck!

Thomas A. Schaeffer, Esq. Law Office of Juarez and Schaeffer PO Box 16216, San Diego, CA 92105 (619) 804-4327 This posting is provided for "informational purposes" only and should not be relied upon as "legal advice." Nothing transmitted from this posting constitutes the establishment of an attorney-client relationship. Applicability of the legal principals discussed here may differ substantially in individual situations or in different States.


You need to sit down with a lawyer to discuss your situation. Feel free to contact me at 415-441-1052.