We filed the agreement together but it wasnt signed, the clerk took the papers from us and said it looked fine so we didnt question it. It was supposed to be returned but all I got back was a letter telling me what needed to be corrected. My ex thinks I have the original paperwork since the court says they sent it to me but they didnt I have a one page generic checklist of 5 things they needed. She is now thinking of changing her mind even though our son is now enrolled in school with me has lived with me for over a month and child support has even been suspended and is pending this new judgement. I dont know what to do cause she is debating on whether she wants to sign it now. I have one agreement we signed when she gave him to me but I dont think it would hold up in court. Help
If she changes her mind, then you have to proceed as if there is no agreement. You have to let the Court resolve your issues. This means, you have to file Motion with the Court and make your requests to the Court to issue an Order in the case. She would be given an opportunity to file a response to your Motion and tell the Court what she wants.
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On a practical level, try and figure out why she is thinking about changing her mind and try to allay her fears/concerns. Remind her that you two had come to the agreement and that you have relied on that agreement and enrolled your son in school. Do not threaten or in any way try to intimidate her. Suggest mediation.
If you are unable to work your way back to agreement, hire an attorney who can assist you.
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I agree with Ms. Hays. There is a rapidly evolving body of law dealing with what is an enforceable agreement and what is not. You should consult with experienced counsel.
You should speak to an attorney in person. Whether you would be able to enforce this agreement in any way would be a lot to gamble on. It was an agreement that the two of you reached, but since it was not signed by the judge and is not final you may not be able to enforce it. (When you are dealing with custody issues the court will probably be less inclined to enforce it than an arms length settlement over a property distribution.) The best approach is probably to get back to the reasons the two of you agreed in the first place. You would probably be able to get a temporary order to keep the child with you if she doesn't agree, which would make all the difference in the ultimate proceeding. The most important thing is to keep working together as amicably as possible for your child's best interests. Even if you prevailed in enforcing the agreement, there is nothing to stop her from filing a motion to modify 3, 6, 9, or 12 months from now. You don't want to be in court every few months. Hang in there. Talk to each other, and yes, consider mediation.
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