Due to my ex-husband's job we left visitation open. My lawyer said this would work well for me since I could say yes or no. What has ended up happening is our life still revolves around his work schedule. I only know week to week when visitation is. He also goes through periods where he wants to see our son 3 nights a week which is disruptive to the school routine. When I say no he yells and screams at me. I have gone back to a lawyer and have drafted a visitation proposal. However, my ex is threatening to take away my "right of first refusal" if I do that and may try to take my son for half the summer if I push for a set visitation schedule. He is a grocery store manager who works 55 hours a week, early mornings and late nights. I am a teacher with a child friendly schedule and summers off. Could a judge decide to revoke my right of first refusal and give my son to his father 1/2 the summer even though his work schedule doesn't really allow for this. My son would be with a sitter at 4 am or until midnight some days instead of with his mother. I am also "custodial parent' and am afraid my ex may try to go for joint custody as many of the courts are favoring now. The lawyer said it wasn't likely he could get joint custody when our paperwork preceded that trend. I just want a set visitation schedule so when his work schedule does change (inventory, holidays, other store openings) it doesn't affect us, just him.