Unfortunately, the conduct you describe is far too common. Nursing homes always claim that they are a wonderful place to be and that they treat residents and their family members as if they were their own family. Yet, once the resident is there, family members are often kept in the dark or in some cases, employees are openly hostile to them. It is sad. With respect to your specific case, you need to talk with a Massachusetts attorney who can provide you with the an answer that utilizes the specifics of Massachusetts law. Please call me friend David Hoey. He is in Massachusetts and is an excellent lawyer. In fact, he has a "10" rating here on Avvo. You can reach him at 877-529-4839. Good luck to you!
Although contacting a nursing home malpractice attorney isn't a bad idea, you also may wish to call in a geriatric care manager (GCM). A GCM is a private social worker or nurse who specializes in working with the elderly. The GCM can assess your mother's situation and make recommendations about appropriate placement and services based on those needs and your mother's goals. Since GCMs are professionals, they tend to be treated with more respect than you apparently have been.
If your mom's facility is on the South Shore, you could call Overlook C.A.R.E. at (781) 837-7444 and ask to meet with one of their GCMs.
E. Alexandra "Sasha" Golden is a Massachusetts lawyer. All answers are based on Massachusetts law. All answers are for educational purposes and no attorney-client relationship is formed by providing an answer to a question.