Skip to main content

My collaborative divorce, started by my spouse seems to favor a better outcome for him. Should i continue?

New York, NY |

Husband has suffered severe depression on and off all marriage. His work hours are extremely erratic. Goes into work mid day and returns late at night. he has not been reliable to help me. he doesnt answer the phone or coordinate. . the collaborative neutral seems to be taking his side to let him try. He denies mental health issue. Could this process be a way of protecting him? giving him more than he would get otherwise? I have tried to press this issue and keep getting a "neutral" response. i dont feel right brushing this under the rug.
I dont want my kids relying on a 20+ years unreliable man. he is also rude and uncooperative behind closed doors but fake to the lawyers. He films me, records me, and padlocks his doors. this seems hostile,. help

+ Read More

Attorney answers 5


You should have a consultation with an experienced divorce lawyer, if you haven't already done so to know your rights.



yes, i have done so. mostly the response i keep hearing is court would be worse for the kids. but this isnt any party as he is hostile and acting out in the same house., quite damaging actually.

Jeffrey B. Peltz

Jeffrey B. Peltz


A collaborative divorce is best if it works, that is it's truly a collaborative effort.. The decision is your whether to proceed with the collaborative divorce to go with the traditional contested divorce. Good luck.


Apparently the collaborative process is not working for you. Consult with an experienced divorce lawyer to represent you.

If this answer is helpful, then please mark the helpful button. If this is the best answer, then please indicate it. Thanks. For further information you should see an attorney and discuss the matter completely. If you are in the New York City area, then you can reach me during normal business hours at 718 329 9500 or


If he is that hostile, collaborative law doesn't seem the way to go. You're of course free to raise these concerns to the collaborative law attorney. But you're best advised to schedule a consultation with your own NYC Divorce attorney.

* If you found my answer to be "HELPFUL," or the "BEST ANSWER," please feel free to mark it accordingly.


Under those circumstances you probably will do better with a litigated divorce.

Under the rules governing the conduct of attorneys in New York it may be necessary to remind you that this answer could be considered attorney advertising.


Your collaborative lawyer should be looking out for your best interest. If this is mediation, you can always hire a lawyer to attend with you or advise you in between sessions. Generally, I believe that parties get the best deal when they work together to come to an agreement without involving courts. But if that isn't happening here, don't let yourself feel forced into something just to "get it over with." Contact some lawyers and see the various options you might have available.

Can't find what you're looking for?

Post a free question on our public forum.

Ask a Question

- or -

Search for lawyers by reviews and ratings.

Find a Lawyer