Mr Holbrook is correct. You have little control over the situation now. Once the police are called, they begin to investigate a potential crime committed against the public law. There may be a named victim (or not), but any prosecution for the alleged conduct is in the name of the People, not any individual victim. Tell your story to his attorney. It may be useful in working out a disposition in his case. It may not.
Just remember that you did not make these choices. He did.
Any statements I make in these forums (fora?) should not be taken as direct legal advice, merely informed guidance. This is true due to the anonymous nature of this venue, and the incomplete information which is invariably provided by the questions. It is imperative that you consult directly with an attorney regarding your specific situation before acting on or relying on anything represented here. Period.
Unfortunately, once you brought the police into the matter and gave them a statement, it is out of your hands. Not infrequently, a complaining witness, such as yourself, will attempt to drop charges after the matter has been filed. Whatever he has been charged with is now between him and the District Attorney. From this point on, you are only a witness, without any authority to discontinue the proceedings.
Your first responders are correct. You just cannot unring this bell.
This answer is offered as a public service for general information only and may not be relied upon as legal advice.
As other previous comments have indicated it is the People of the State of California v. your boyfriend... so essentially it is up to the DA to determine how if this case will proceed. I do believe a good suggestion is to make sure your boyfriend has adequate representation. It may also be a good idea for you to speak with his attorney. Though it's true you can't "un-ring the bell" ... I would be very interested in exactly HOW the bell was rung. That is, EXACTLY what you told the police about this incident.... and EXACTLY what happened. Meanwhile, you may wish to refrain from saying ANYTHING else to ANYONE except your boyfriend's attorney. Of course you are absolutely free to speak with anyone you wish. That is your decision. But there MAY be issues here that can be investigated and used to help your boyfriend. Speak with his attorney if you can.
OFFICE OF EARL CARTER & ASSOCIATES William M. Cheney, Esq. 14420 Civic Dr., Suite 8, Victorville, CA (760) 955-1700 Note: Answers to questions are for general purposes and may not be applicable to specific facts of a particular case. These answers are for general purposes only and do not establish an attorney-client relationship.
It is a popular misconception that private individuals can "press" or "drop" charges. Only the District Attorney has the authority to decide to charge or not charge someone with a crime. You can certainly contact the DA and ask him not to file charges. But, the DA is under no obligation to do what you want.