her father and I get a long fine and I really don't want to stir up things, but this is really bothering me. I feel it's wrong but when I asked him he felt nothing wrong with it and got upset with me for asking. they have different beds but in same room.
I do not practice in California but it seems to me that without some specific concern, such as the cousin being a registered sex offender or your daughter saying that the cousin acts weird toward her, this would not rise to the level of child abuse. Family members often share small spaces on vacations.
On the other hand, unless your daughter knows this cousin very well, it might make more sense for her and her father to share a room rather than for her to share a room with an adult cousin of the other gender.
Without some level of concern though it is really an issue that you can only discuss with the father and, if you can't convince him that he is being unreasonable, try to convince yourself that he also has your daughter's best interests at heart and would not put her at risk.
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