Go see your lawyer and discuss your concerns face to face--if unhappy with the responses, hire a new lawyer.
Not returning calls is not per se unethical. Failing to communicate with a client properly may violate codes of professionalism in your state (I am NOT a NJ attorney).
Saying they will do things--may or may not be an issue--depends on the facts and details of the case, of the representation agreement etc.
NOT LEGAL ADVICE. FOR EDUCATION AND INFORMATION ONLY. DO NOT RELY ON ANY ADVICE YOU RECEIVE FROM ME OR ANY OTHER ATTORNEY IN THIS FORUM. Legal advice comes after a complete review of the facts and relevant documents and an expressed (written) agreement of representation that forms attorney-client confidentiality. Neither of these two events can occur in this forum. Mr. Rafter is licensed to practice in the Commonwealth of Virginia and the US Federal Courts in Virginia. His answers to any Avvo question are rooted in general legal principles--NOT your specific state laws. There is no implied or actual attorney-client relationship arising from this education exchange. You should speak with an attorney licensed in your state, to whom you have provided all the facts before you take steps that may impact your legal rights. Mr. Rafter is under no obligation to answer subsequent emails or phone calls related to this or any other matter.
The Office of Attorney ethics would be able to provide you with answers to your questions. For quickest resolution to your situation, try making an appointment to meet with your lawyer face to face so that they are aware of your concerns and the difficulty you have had in getting phone calls returned.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to your question. An attorney has an ethical obligation to keep a client reasonably informed about his case. This means that the determination as to whether the attorney has behaved unethically depends on the facts and circumstances of the underlying matter. I suggest you write a letter to your attorney expressing your concerns and request an appointment. In your letter, set out dates and times you are available for a meeting. Send the letter certified. If you get no response, take your case elsewhere. Good luck.
A response to a question posted on Avvo is not intended to create an attorney-client relationship. It is informational only. Allan E. Richardson, Esq. firstname.lastname@example.org Richardson, Galella & Austermuhl 142 Emerson ST., Woodbury, NJ 08096 856-579-7045.