I'd have a hard time seeing a judge award you the house and your entire 401k unless she is receiving roughly an equal portion of marital property, assuming the house and 401k (or the majority of the 401k) were acquired during the marriage. There are definitely not enough facts provided here to provide any meaningful guidance on this question.
You've got yourself a good answer there. Do not expect the world from your ex-wife as seen through the eyes of a judge, who will invariably save for exceptional cases tend to side with the mother since the mother tends to get custody and family and matrimonial court are all about THE CHILDREN.
So, if she's got custody, and has a 401K, I'm not matrimonial attorney, but I'd have to think you're looking at a very long shot at best.
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