Is your obligation to meet and confer if a defendant wants more time to answer to a lawsuit?
2 attorney answers
Nope. You are under no duty to grant an extension and can run to the Court with your request for default. Hell, under the Rules of Court, you are required to request entry of default if the other side hasn't filed a responsive pleading 10 days late. You can be subject to sanctions.
Of course, if you are in contact with the other side, and you default them without a heads up, the Court will consider that a dick move, and will most likely set aside the default. That's not to say that you aren't in your rights, but generally speaking, its better to appear reasonable at first, and pick your battles.
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Generally the other side as a cutesy will grant more time if it is reasonable. For a motion you have to ask the other side as a precondition, and that is your meet and confer.