I unfortunately had an affair with my wife. For the past month we have been recovering from this affair and trying to move on with our lives. In going through the affair (we, along with our families) believe that the "mistress" was intentionally being a home wrecker in this process.
Upon discovery of the affair, she expressed that she no longer wants to be contacted and proceeded to block all forms of communication (email, Instagram, facebook, etc.).
I initially reached out to express a desire to talk amicably, but she didn't respond (not sure if she even got the messages).
A month has passed and Our goal is not to seek retaliation (although there is tremendous anger), but rather to share her story with the people close to her in life. Quite a few people have read the letter we want to send (including our therapist) and agree it is calm, collected, and factually true. There are no threats or desires except to seek an apology and hope the mistress's family will help her become a better person in life.
Worry about your life and your marriage. Do not contact your mistress. MOVE ON. You are only opening yourself up to more problems both personal and legal.
I guess I am confused. You had an affair with this woman and you want her to apologize to you? I guess I don't understand what a home wrecker is... What if she doesn't want to be a better person? Would you want her to send a letter to your family explaining that she thought you were a home wrecker and she wants you to be a better person? Sharing this story only makes private things more public and may inflict pain or embarrass....my suggestion, let it go... If you think the sending her a letter will be therapeutic, send it to her care of general delivery at the nearest POst office with no return address....
This is for general information only. Nothing in this information should be construed as creating an attorney-client relationship nor shall any of this information be construed as providing legal advice. Laws change over time and differ from state to state. These answers are based on California Law.Applicability of the legal principles discussed may differ substantially in individual situations. You should not act upon the information presented herein without consulting an attorney about your particular situation. No attorney-client relationship is established.
My colleagues are absolutely correct -- move on!!
In no way am I offering you legal advice, and in no way has my comment created an attorney-client relationship. You are not to rely upon my note above in any way, but insted need to sit down with counsel and share all relevant facts before receiving fully-informed legal advice. If you want to be completely sure of your rights, you must sit down with an experienced attorney to be fully aware of your rights. Finally, please forgive any typographical errors in my note!
Rather than a legal website like Avvo, try couples counseling or similar to get through this. Your idea is fraught with mine fields.
This answer posted on Avvo is for informational and educational purposes only. There is no attorney-client relationship created or formed and you should not rely on this as legal advice. The suggestion is made that if you wish to protect your rights, you consult with an attorney immediately.
Why are you seeking advice through a legal website? You need counseling through a marital counselor, but on a personal note, why the hell would you contact your mistress if the affair is over? Also, stop blaming your mistress for being a homewrecker. It takes two to tango.
What possible good would be served by doing what you propose? Move on!
Although AVVO describes this site as providing free legal advice, it is really a simple Q&A forum. The volunteer attorneys provide general answers. No specific legal advice is given here and no attorney-client relationship is established. For precise direction and legal advice, please consult in person with an attorney in your area. Be sure to bring all relevant paperwork with you.
Happily, you haven't provided enough facts regarding the letter for the basis on which anyone could venture a guess at what the legalities are. As has been very amply discussed, though, your doing more would very possibly provide her with the ammo to do you a lot of legal damage to you; why give her that option? This forum should serve as a little wake-up for you--if a bunch of lawyers see little that's logical or sympathetic in your cause, what make you think that a jury or judge would?
My answers to this question are informal and partial due to the insufficient nature of the information exchanged. These answers do not make me your lawyer. In order to make me your lawyer you have to hire me, in writing. Answers given herein are necessarily brief and cannot be complete or reliable legal advice until (a) an attorney-client relationship has been established, and (b) until complete information has been given pursuant to that relationship..
Sign up to receive a 3-part series of useful information and advice about personal injury law.
Years licensed, work experience, educationLegal community recognition
Peer endorsements, associations, awardsLegal thought leadership
Publications, speaking engagementsDiscipline