You would need to make a motion to vacate the judgment of divorce. It's best to make the motion within a year of the judgment being entered. I recommend that you consult with an experienced divorce attorney.
That depends - when you say it was "done without me" what do you really mean? Did you know about the case?
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If you were not properly served, you should be able to vacate the default and reopen the case. You will best be able to accomplish this with the help of a lawyer. Consult with a local matrimonial attorney ASAP.
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You'll need to file a motion to vacate your default. You must provide a reasonable excuse for your failing to appear as well as a "meritorious defense" to the opposing party's requests. That said, I highly advise you to schedule a free consultation with a NYC Divorce lawyer.
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I would only add to what the other lawyers have said: the longer you wait, the more it looks like you agree with the divorce and agree to live by whatever terms have been set. So you should not delay in trying to determine all of your options.
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