You don't indicate what the Tuesday hearing is for. If it's your first appearance (arraignment), then the alleged victim doesn't have to show up, though the DA may decide not to charge you and the case may still be dismissed.
If it's a pre trial conference, then again, the victim doesn't have to show up. If the appearance is for trial, then the alleged victim usually does have to show up to testify. If he doens't show up, it is generally very difficule for the DA to prove harassment.
In Washington county the DA's office takes domestic violence allegations very seriously. So even if your husband recants or changes his story, it may be difficult to get the charges dropped. If you appear on Tuesday and the charges are not dropped, you need an attorney. In some cases, it helps to have an attorney at the first appearance. If you can't hire an attorney, you should apply for a court appointed attorney before you take any deal.